10 Things I Learned At 21

Hi readers, as you recently noticed, I turned 22! Not going to lie, I've been waiting to turn 22 for a long time. The reason is that when I was 21, I had a really tumultuous year. I had a lot of life experiences, some good, others bad - first love, heartbreak, betrayal, grandmother's passing, friend's death... Just a bunch of things that made me reflect upon life in a more mature perspective. So here are some lessons I learned last year that I want to share with you.

1. What you see is not what you get

Humans are judgmental. We think "oh, he goes to church” “he prays 5 times a day” “he does community service", and we assume that he is good. We take stereotypes, and we use that as a meter stick. Sometimes, we have to remember we can't box people into categories. People are unique, and the world is not black & white. Remember that under the right circumstances, kind people can be mean, and vice versa.

2. Who you hang out with influences you

If we look at social psychology studies, humans have the tendency to conform to peers. For us, the feeling of belonging is important, so we tend to follow the behaviors of our friends. For example: If your friends consume drugs, you probably will think of the behavior as normal, because it’s a social norm. But say, you go to another group of people, they’ll probably think of it as a deviant behavior. That's why you have to choose the right kind of friends! 

3. Just because someone calls you ugly/hoe/stupid/fat doesn't mean that's true

Never let others define who you are. People can say a lot of mean things about you, and trust me, it hurts. But you need to believe in yourself... You are far more beautiful, talented, dignified than anyone tells you. At one point, after receiving tons of insults, I thought I was worthless. But in reality, I've accomplished a lot of things that others haven't. Sometimes, people say mean things because 1) you threaten them in one way or another (and let’s face it, we can’t help but radiate awesomeness), or 2) they want to feel more superior than you. So, it’s up to you to know what is true about yourself.

4. Don't be scared to do what's right

What is wrong generally is easy. What is right is usually hard. You're going to get a lot of backfire. You're going to feel like an outsider. You're going to suffer. But it's worth it, trust me! Doing the right thing is hard, but it will make you stronger in the long run. If you have to break up, do it. If you have to report a friend to the authority, do it. If you have to say the terrible truth, do it. The most important thing is you have to have the right intention to make things better, and you’ve thought through all the consequences that your actions will make.

5. Don't be afraid to look for help

Suffering in silence sucks. You're going to need help, be it from professional or family or friends. I was first afraid of stigma, because I didn't want to look weak. But I realized that I'm at that position where I'm too weak to help myself. That's when you start looking for help. I actually went to a counselor at Penn, and she gave me a completely new perspective on how to deal with my problems. Because a sick person can’t cure a sick person, right? A hairdresser can’t cut his own hair, right? (okay, fine, they have a mirror, but that’s still super hard to do)

6. Stop blaming yourself

Give yourself a break. You've worked so hard to get to where you are, and if something doesn't work out, it isn't your fault. You are not responsible for the action of others. You are not responsible for external circumstances. You can't prevent people you love from making the wrong decisions. You can't prevent people from not choosing you in a job/promotion/contest. You can’t help to feel grief, if someone you know dies. So, give yourself some self-love, and stop blaming yourself.

7. Let yourself feel grief, sad, and all those negative emotions 

The tendency for our society is to pretend that we are happy, no matter how tough things are. That tendency tends to be more harmful than helpful. Negative emotions that are not expressed tends to do harm to your body through stress. The thing is, we need to find positive ways to express them. So, for me, to deal with my anger, I do kickboxing to release some negative energy, or I watch sappy Korean dramas when I feel sad so that I have an excuse to cry (no shame, I am now a big fan of the K-Drama It’s Okay, That’s Love). Whichever way you choose, make sure that you take care of yourself and can finally feel better at the end of the day.

8. Happiness and health is more important than work

Sometimes, when we’re working super hard, we tend to forget to take care of ourselves. We forget to sleep enough (7-8 hours is the daily recommendation, by the way), meet our family & friends, have a bit of me-time, exercise, and eat healthy. We think that we can’t lose, we have to be successful; we’re young, so we have to work hard now. But what is the point of working hard, if you can’t enjoy the results? When you are sick and depressed, no matter how successful you are, you’ll still feel hollow and empty. And face it, the money you’re making today is probably going to be spent on future hospital costs. Better take care of yourself today to prevent future sickness or emotional breakdown.

9. Do what you love and make it work for you

A lot of the time, we tend to adhere to society’s standards for success. If you’re in Wharton (like me), for example, the measure of success is getting a job at investment bank/management consulting. For a time being, I really thought that I was okay doing what others expect of me. I didn’t want to be seen as a failure, so I did all the things - on campus recruitment, working my ass off until 4 am, joining all these different extracurriculars that wasn’t really me. I realized that I don’t have to be bound by this form of success, and that success depends on how I define it. Right now, I love blogging and investing, so I make it work for me - my investing pays for my time blogging. Or let’s take a look at John Legend, he was a BCG consultant for 2 years. He then realized that he loved singing, and it was his true calling. If you don’t do what you love, you’re going to end up feeling empty and unsatisfied. So do what you love! The money will follow, and you can make it work for you. If you love photography, open a freelance photography studio. If you love fashion, make a fashion blog or online store. If you love knitting, sell your knits. If you love writing, start a blog or write a novel. There are so many ways to monetize passion, and it will fuel you to only work harder.

10. Have hope that things will turn out for the best

When things seem absolutely abysmal, sometimes you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. You can’t see where you are heading, and you feel like you’re drifting with no aim. Sometimes, you want to just cry on the floor all day, because you don’t know how to make the pain stop. I know that when you are depressed, it's hard to see the silver lining in living. I’m telling you, it will get better. It might take a while for you to even start feeling just a tiny bit better, but be patient and have hope. Being depressed is terrifying, I know, but please stay strong. There is a point to all of this suffering, that you will be strengthened by all of this. As Dumbledore says it, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”. 

Sending you lots of love, hug & sisterly support, 

Aly

Execution, execution, execution - A Criticism on Jokowi Administration

This is going to be a rare post about Jokowi's administration. I rarely ever comment about politics, simply because I am not a trained politician. However, I do have my two cents about this administration and their progress so far. So, let's begin:

Joko Widodo, the incumbent president of Indonesia, won the election by promising a lot of populist and leftist policies. A few examples of these promises include: 1) free healthcare through Kartu Indonesia Sehat, 2) allocating IDR 1.4 billion to every village, 3) subsidy of IDR 1 million for every poor family, 4) create 10 million new jobs through IDR 10 million payments to Koperasi and/or small medium enterprises, and 5) creation of new transportation infrastructure of 10 new airports and 10 new seaports. Lofty goals, aye?

In terms of the spirit, these policies aim to reduce economic inequality - a great aim, given the negative impact of economic inequality towards a society. To quote Wikipedia (yes, I'm quoting Wikipedia):

"Effects of inequality: Researchers have found include higher rates of health and social problems, and lower rates of social goods, a lower level of economic utility in society from resources devoted on high-end consumption, and even a lower level of economic growth when human capital is neglected for high-end consumption."

Like what we see above, the goals are great. But we also have to remember, execution often matters more than the goals. And that's where I have concerns with the Jokowi administration.

First of all, financing these policies is not cheap - the money has to come from somewhere (or as Rihanna puts it, Bit*h Better Have My Money). With falling oil prices (and by proxy, revenue), Jokowi's administration has to rely on increases from tax revenue to fuel government spending. Our latest finance minister, Bambang Brodjonegoro, has set out to increase taxes by 30%. That's a very ambitious goal, given that usually tax revenues increase by about 6% annually. What's even scarier, is what the finance minister says about tax compliance:

"Of more than 250 million Indonesians, only 27 million register as taxpayers. Among that group, only 10 million actually submit taxes, and only 900,000 paid what they owed last year."

So it seems like there's a lot of room for tax revenues growth, right? We can target those who haven't paid taxes yet. Ummm, not really. If we see the recent tax edicts by the ministry of finance, we've probably added the burden of tax to those who are paying. Their tax edicts focus on a few things: 1) tax amnesty, 2) increasing tax rates for PPN (property), 3) increasing VAT.

A criticism on tax amnesty: those who don't pay (and are perfectly capable of doing so) have sent their money away to Singapore, Switzerland, Cayman Islands, British Virgin Islands, and other tax havens. Asking them to bring their money home from offshore is close to impossible - Indonesia doesn't share financial information with these countries. Money stays where money feels at home, where there is good tax infrastructure, low tax rates, stable currency, and clear government policies. If you can't give that, there's no way these people will comply. As for increasing property taxes, apartment sales have felt the effects from constant flip-flops in property taxation policies. The increasing property taxes certainly don't help either. And as for VAT, realistically, when consumer spending is low (like now), increasing VAT is just slowing down economic growth.

Secondly, Jokowi's administration is frustratingly flip-flopping policies all the time. Let's take a look at a few policies in which their stances have changed over a short period of time: canceling a presidential regulation on substantial rise in car-purchase allowances, changing a proposed visa-free policies for 30 countries as it will break immigration law, and re-opening AND re-closing censorship from 22 websites under pressure from Muslim groups. Like, seriously? The only person who flip-flops more than Jokowi's administration is a 15-year old teenager who decides that he'd rather be grunge than punk. 

This shows a great problem in policymaking from the Jokowi administration. Why aren't policies comprehensively studied before executed? Have you read these policies before you signed them? To quote Jokowi:

“I don’t know 100 percent of the content of [drafts and documents submitted to the President]. This should be handled by ministries. They should screen whether the drafts will have a good or bad impact on the country,”

This is the worst thing I've heard from a president. Please do not tell me you do not know what you signed because you don't read. The last time someone told me they don't like reading, I almost had a mini heart attack in a restaurant (yep, these are also things you don't tell girls on a first date - note to guys who want to take me out on a date). To hear that a president doesn't read is just unacceptable and unprofessional.

Those are my biggest concerns with the current administration: financing and firm policymaking. Unless we correct for these things, we won't be able to progress as expected. So, I hope that I have voiced out my concerns - and that Jokowi can fix these things moving on forward. 

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PS: I would personally pay for Jokowi to get speed-reading lessons. If you're willing, Mr. President, please contact me here on my blog, and I will make sure to wire you my money :)

What I'm Reading 06.07.15

I just turned 22, yay yay yay. Lots of good stuff to be found this week, so let's begin!

1. John Cassidy (The New Yorker) on Greece’s Debt Burden: The Truth Finally Emerges

Thoroughly enjoyed Cassidy's thoughts & analysis on the consequences of the referendum. There isn't a realistic outcome where Greece will come unscathed, it's either adopt a new currency through Grexit defaults, or debt forgiveness the size of Germany post-WWII. 

2. Charlie Warzel (Buzzfeed) on Reddit Moderators Are Fed Up: “I Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse”

Warzel compiled the Reddit saga that went on in the forum. I'm a big redditor myself, so I was surprised to see lots of my favorite subs decided to go private. Moderators were really fed up with the management, and the deciding moment was when a key employee, Victoria Taylor, was laid off with no future transition arrangement. To be honest, I thought this was a PR disaster in action. Pao, Reddit's CEO, did a terrible job of keeping the community happy - whether it is on the transparency of management's decision or the attention put on making reddit community as functional as possible. 

3. Dacher Keltner and Paul Ekman (New York Times) on The Science of 'Inside Out'

I absolutely loved the new Pixar animated movie "Inside Out", with Amy Poehler (who is one of my favorite actress and role model) starring as Joy. No spoilers, but the movie takes us into the head of Riley, an 11-year old girl, as she is moving from Minnesota to San Francisco. Absolutely breathtaking, but even more so, the degree of accuracy in the movie in portraying emotions. Reminds me a lot of my days as a psych major! And I love that they had Paul Ekman, leading psychologist in the study of emotions, work as a scientific consultant from the movie. Mad props to the Pixar team.

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Quote of the week is from an economist I met yesterday, Mr. Faried Harianto, special advisor to former VP Boediono, "Net Interest Margin is like the difference between the returns of chasing a girl to the investment you make to chase the girl" #lifeadvice #yass

Beach Reads for the Serious Businessperson

I just graduated! Which means, I get some time off for relaxation before the real world begins. Since time is the most valuable resource you have, there is no better time to relax in Bali (or a travel destination of your choice) and read some business books that are easy to read.

1. How to Lie with Statistics by Darrell Huff

Recommended by Bill Gates, I enjoyed this book since it's an easy read. We are often fooled by statistics, and this book tells us how statisticians could easily fool people by "cherry-picking" samples, averages, and graphs. In this world where data is king, having a knowledge of which data is significant to our use could be the difference between success and failure. Also, it helps that it has cute graphics!

2. Business Adventures by John Brooks

12 short stories from Wall Street's beloved writer, which is an absolutely phenomenal read. I first caught this book from Warren Buffett's list of recommended books, and ended up reading this on a 27-hour plane ride from JFK to Jakarta. I really enjoyed the chapter about the Ford car, as it tells us the folly of having too many people involved in a project. If you enjoy anecdotes, you'll enjoy this book!

3. What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 by Tina Seelig

Short read, but incredibly insightful. Tina Seelig teaches creativity and innovation at Stanford, and in this book, she tells us many things from career, entrepreneurship, risk-taking, and creativity. Spoiler alert: the biggest takeaway is to be brave and pursue things you are passionate about. I love how Tina backs it up with studies from the fields of psychology and sociology, in comparison to many other self-help books that only focuses on the advice portion.

4. Barbarians At The Gate by John Helyar and Bryan Burrough

An awesome, exciting introduction to the world of private equity, peppered with crazy characters. The book feels like an episode of Suits meet Mad Men, only it tells about the tale of the takeover of RJR Nabisco by KKR. If you love corporate politics and strategic thinking, this is the book for you.

5. A Short History of Financial Euphoria by John Kenneth Galbraith

We all know about financial bubbles: the tulip, the dotcom, the residential property and whatnots. But do we really know what patterns to look for to see if something is in a bubble? The famed economist, Galbraith, dissects the recent crises in an easy manner to understand.

I weep for wonder wand'ring far alone

I was ransacking my iTunes library, when I found this beautiful song that I sang about 4 years ago for IASAS Cultural Convention. Ever since we had to sing this piece, I've had to say that this is my favorite poem. There is a sense of peace and urgency, calmness and sadness reflected in the music that's quite rare to find in one song. Anyway, here's the song "Sure on this Shining Night" by Morten Lauridsen, with lyrics taken from James Agee's poem of the same title.

“Sure on this shining night
Of starmade shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.
The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.

Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand’ring far
alone
Of shadows on the stars.”

— James Agee from the book "Permit Me Voyage"